Punishment

This particular subject came to mind a few days ago as I introduced a friend to the infamous 128 Basic Slave Rules and then sat there snickering to myself at her reactions to them. If you haven't read them before and havent the faintest what I am talking about, a quick Google search will bring them up.

Keep in mind these things have been kicking around since at least '98, and they were ridiculed then, and unfortunately I ahve seen people recently just raving about them and recommending them to people as reality.  The 128 Slave rules is so wholly unrealistic and more fantasy than anything else..and bad fantasy at that if you ask me.

But it did bring to mind and induce a conversation about the punishment of submissives or slaves. Now, in my opinion, punishing a slave or submissive should not be something that is experienced or done with anything resembling regularity. To me there really should be no need for it to begin with as both parties are entering into that relationship willingly and as adults. And the submissive/slave chooses to submit themselves and earning a punishment on a regular basis seems to defeat that purpose.

Not to mention the fact that if there is a need to punish the submissive/slave then that is more of a failing on the dominant's part than it is the submissive. IF a dominant has to punish a submissive, they either aren't paying attention to the signs, they were unclear, or worse unreasonable in what they are asking.

To often I see people requesting ideas on how to punish their submissives, what methods to use etc etc. Annoyingly so as most of them seem to be looking for something semi-eroticised as a form of punishment. Which again, kinda defeats the whole intent. So lets look at a bit of reality here.

In my perspective in any case.

Let me be clear, I loathe punishment and loathe punishing submissives/slave outside of a 'you've been a naughty little girl now get over my lap' kind of way. I see it to be self defeating. If you punish someone for a behavior or action, all you are instilling is a fear of the punishment. You take a whip to someone for doing something wrong, they're going to be not doing that because they don't want to be whipped not because they want to submit and please you. And that is an important aspect to look at.

That and I enjoy using certain implements in a fun (albiet sadistic) manner, so doing the exact same things I do for pleasure as a form of a punishment tends to send mixed messages. And thats never good.

What I prefer however, is something that the military terms "Corrective Action". Which is a good term because it helps give definition to what is trying to be conveyed. As a dominant you are trying to correct the behavior, not punish and thereby breed a little bit of resentment here and there.

What is being done with corrective action, is seeking out the root cause of the behavior, and looking to solve that issue, removing it and thereby correcting. Think of it this way, a dominant and submissive are out at an event and the submissive starts acting out in whatever innappropriate way. Now a dominant could take the girl home and beat the hell out of her, stand her in the corner, lecture her etc. But really what is that going to really accomplish. OR worse, they could do that sort of thing on the spot.

For me, the proper course of action would be to take the girl someplace private and to address the matter. What this would entail is finding out what is going on with her, and what is causing that sort of behavior. YOu have to be able to find out what is going on. Maybe someone said something that upset them, or did something. Maybe there are bad feelings, bad thoughts going on in their heads, maybe something they saw or heard brought back memories.  The point is, you have to find out.

And its important to be careful of the manner of how things are being done here. A stern angry voice and hostile body language is not going to help. A firm and even tone however may very well be nescessary. Depending on what the root cause is, the submissive may very well be somewhat reluctant to speak of it for various reasons.

Now say that the girl was acting up becasue of somethign she heard or was said to her and it put her in a bad headspace. Well that's a situation that is somewhat (and I say somewhat becasue the situation could be far more involved than just bad feelings over something said) easy to remedy ( and by extension correcting the cause of the behavior) by say monitoring and controlling exposure to certain people or situations.

Granted that is an easy example, and a lot of time it is not going to be that easy. But the basic concept is there. And along with that the submissive/slave needs to be made aware of what is and is not acceptable and has consequences (more on that in a sec). Part of corrective action is making sure that things like that do not occur again, so after finding out what the problem is, taking steps to remedy the solution, it has to be instilled in the submissive that when things like that start to occur/or occur in the future, that the best way of dealing with them is probably to inform their dominant in whatever method is agreed upon. In my opinion, being silent and just bearing whatever is going on that is causing problems doesn't help and is a breakdown of not only communication, but trust and the whole workings of the dynamic between the dominant and submissive.

If someone is under my control, that includes the bad parts as well as the good parts. And keeping the bad parts from me and burying them within themselves actually I find quite aggravating. If there are triggers that casue certain emotions or memories (even if they dont know they are triggers) I need to know when they happen so I can ensure to be mindful of those things. As much of a sadist as I am, emotional pain and suffering does not amuse me in the slightest.

Now as for consequences, I'm again not talking about physical consequences such as taking a switch to them. A loss of privliges work just as well, and to me should be coupled with something that makes them mindful and that they can actually and legitimately learn from. Say you take away computer privliges for a set time, for heavens sake give them something else to do in its place that they can learn from . Writing assignments are good for this. Coupled with reading/research they can be very effective tools.

Using the example used above, the submissive could research and write about say communication as it pertains to that situation. As long as it is understood that it has to be full disclosure. No holding back anything, whether good or bad within the writing becasue it is a learning experience after all. For both parties involved.

All of this is designed (and should be personlized by the dominant to suit themselves) to be corrective rather than punishing. Correct and learn so that what occured does not occur again.

And for reference, answering the question "Why did you do this / What is going on " with 'I don't know" is not really an acceptable answer. At least not in the long run becasue to be honest sometimes they won't know at first and the issue needs to be analyzed.  But still, its not an answer that should really be accepted outright.

And I think I done enough rambling for right now.