Titles

Somewhat of an interesting discussion on the Fetlife Masters/slaves group that I’ve been reading up a lot lately. The subject was basically on honorifics and titles such as Master, Mistress, Sir, Ma’am and things of that nature and how they are used and applied as well as what they mean to each person. Not to mention why they use them.

For me it is somewhat of a complicated issue. I generally dislike the thought of generic titles like sir that are given out. Not in general, as I use the title sir all the time when I do not know the persons name or if they are older than me etc etc. That and in normal context its just polite. But in the context of BDSM in general, to me the usuage of sir or ma’am has devolved from something that in and of itself should imply a respect for position or things of that nature, into an common and automatic term used for everyone who identifies with a dominant mindset.

Now I have been told, many times in fact, that it is still about respect for that person and who and more importantly what they are. My thoughts on this are simple because I dislike being addressed that way by submissive types who don’t even know me. If it is a sign of respect for who and what I am, without knowing me how do you know that said respect is deserved. Simply put, you don’t.

Now I do have a small few that address me as sir, but this was after telling them it was neither required or nescessary for me, and after explaining my position on it. Those that do address me as sir now, do so on their own becasue to them I have earned that respect in their eyes. It has an actual meaning behind it unlike just running into someone who claims to be dominant and giving them that honorific form of address.
I see anything else as artificially enforced. Which by the general BDSM type of community, which is a silly phrase in and of itself because there is no real community, is both common place and expected. WEll, am sorry but anyone who expects and demands to have a title conferred on them by everyone, let alone those that they do not know and do not know them, well they’re an idiot.

I personally prefer things that I have earned and deserve on my own merits rather than a meaningless title that is confered because the overerall culture seems to think being a dominant , or claiming to be dominant, is all it takes to earn that sort of respectful honor from submissive types. If someone believes that in their eyes I deserve the title or the inherant respect that goes with it, then fine by me. Otherwise I’m not Master Shadow (email address aside) or Sir Shadow, I’m just Shadow and that is what works for me.

I just do not really like the unearned connotations the whole thing brings up at times.