Toys, Toys, Toys, (BDSM Toy Review)

Ok I got two new toyish items in today, with good review on one and a somewhat mixed review on the other. But for as inexpensive as they were, you really can't complain to much and you have to adhere to the old adage of 'you get what you pay for." And truthfully I never though of Amazon selling these sorts of things anyways, and I general procure online from either Subshop or JT's. But for the price I figured I couldn't really lost much but some time and a bit of change.

But for what its worth, here goes. First up on the block. This was billed as a Genuine Leather Riding Crop. And oddly enough thats what the tag says its made out of too. That and being made in India.

First impressions, looks m ore like a quirt you'd use to hit elephants with while riding on a howdah.  And truthfully the looks on this thing are somewhat offputting.  It may be leather, I can't tell underneath all the black spraypaint. And the braids on it go from tight braids at the handle, somewhat large and loose at the center to tight and narrow towards the tip. The whole thing sfeels liek there is something like a wire of something on the inside of it too to help it keep its shape.

Outside of the tip, which is very poorly made, so is the loop handle by the way, I think the $5 I paid for this was a bit overpriced.  I myself expect crops to be rigid and sturdy while being flexible and easy to use. This one though, while it is extremely flexible, and it does make a nice whirring sound when it swishes through the air, is perhaps to flexible. I'm almost afraid that any sort of normal to semi strenuous use and the whole thing is going to fall apart on me.

I'll have to test it a little more when chel gets here, just for...experimental purposes..yeah..sounds good enough like a plausible reason...but my initial impression is that this is for the most part more of a prop than anything else.  Still for five buck, really can't complain to much. But I'd recommend against buying this if you're in any sort of serious play.

Next up though, and I really like this item, is the Wrist and Ankle Restraint Bar. Also from Amazon but a little bit more expensive. But not to much.

Now this one is of the nylon and velcro variety of restraints. Not escape proof by any means, but truthfully if the one you're putting int his wants to escape either you aren't doing somethign right or you just aint got what it takes to make them stay put by sheer force of your awesomeness and willpower alone....ok that was a bit much. Still though.

The nylon itself is pretty sturdy actually, and the two metal strips that are inside of the nylon bar part are pretty strong. Enough to keep in place, and have a lot of durability and longevity. Which is a good thing.

So nylon and velcro cuffs aren't the most hardcore. I do have metal restraints if I want to use them, but they're standalone types and not really hooked up to anything but themselves. Still are fun in their own right thougha dn there is just something about seeing that cool black metal on bare skin. oooooh.

What advantage this does have is the positions that people can be put into while in this set is what makes this item a keeper and one that I may have to pick up complimentary items for. Aside from what is pictured above. This is a perfect item for a semi hogtie-esque position and even an enforced ass up int he air doggy style type of position. On their knees, , head down, wrists locked to their ankles, ass in the air legs spread open type of thing. I can quite easily think of all sorts of horribly perverted and depraved things to do to someone in that position. For quite a lot fo time too.

It's definately not  for anything hardcore or extreme. Not a high ened item for heavy players so to speak. But it gets the job done and its quick and easy, portable and well built enough to be fun. And for $16.00, this is definately not anything to complain about pricewise either. Good price, good product and loads of fun. If you want something hard and metal taht your slave/toy can't escape from, this probably aint a good buy. But if its just for amusement and fun purposes outside of everything else you do, you really can't go wrong with this.

There is jsut so much potential in this item. Could it be better, probably. Wrist cuffs could use resizing after all. But then again I've made and bought other sets of metal on metal that could facilitate the same thing, but it's not always just about lockign someone down so they can't escape while you torment them. True thats loads of fun, but sometimes its just about the amusement and the fun you can have. Doesn't always have to be full on serious and hardcore after all.

Shadow

First Package (Toy Review)

Well the very first package has arrived. Unfortunately the present for my dad wasn’t in the box, and in fact nothing I’d really want him to see actually.  I’m sure he actually has quite a bit of an idea, he has seen the bamboo cane that I have hanging on my wall in my bedroom after all, and he’s not an idiot. I think its more of a situation of not wanting to know truthfully.

But what the package did contain was the first of toy shipments I ordered a while ago. Gotta use credit card for something might as well use it for stuff that amuses me.  Still got two new items coming but the first item was quite interesting.

Fun Fun Fun

 These are the Door Jam Cuffs.  Oddly enough I got them at Amazon. Who knew they sold sex toys and bondage gear. But they do. Some of it looks really good quality. Not as good as say JT’s Stockroom (which shocked me cause I didnt think about how close they were when I ordered from them and got surprised by next day delivery) but well enough.

These little items are for all those of us who really dont want to be putting eyehooks and bolts in the walls or ceiling, or simply just want portability with stuff we bind up the people we’re going to torment into subspace.

With Door Jam Cuffs, you just toss the anchors over the top of the door, close the door and you can hang a lucky slave in place and whip, tease and torment them into little quivering masses of red striped and welted flesh.

Muahaha.

Unfortunately, despite what the picture looks like, the cuffs arent detachable. Which is somewhat limiting but hey you never know, might be able to work somethign out, and truthfully, looking at how they are constructed, I can actually very easily make my own with a few wooden dowels, straps and some hardware and be able to hook up whatever (in addition to whoever) that I want to.

On another note, been talking to chel a lot lately. Well when she has her phone turned on and answers her text messages anyways. Looks like she’ll be coming down to see a friend in Venice beach some time around the first of the year, and possibly job hunting while she is here, will show her around up here too to see if she likes the area as she is very interested in moving up to this area. That will be a lot of fun.

Its amazing how just little things jsut seem to remind me of how special she is and always has been to me. Would love having her out here. But as always, I’ve learned to jsut take things as they come. If she does move down here, which actually I think would be the best for her considering certain situations. Might even introduce her to Kitten and go out to the Lair. Be interesting.

Ellie been worrying me and bothering  me lately though too. With everything been going on with her, she’s been getting really down and negative about everything and it bothers me. But it is good that she is getting back with some of her friends. Might get her mind off things and make her feel a little better.  So much has happened that I worry about her a lot. Even with my schedule of work and school not leaving me much time as I’d like. Not really sure what to do. Especially since the weather has gotten her sick a lot too.

Rainy Day Thoughts, With Toys

I despise rain. Moreso when I have to be out in it for over eight hours at a time with very few opportunities to get under cover and dry off even a little bit. But I did manage to find a few new ways to re-affirm to people that I’m not all there in the head (wearing a big yellow raincoat and telling people I was a Twinkie cause I was yellow on the outside and white on the inside) or just being aggravatingly annoying to them by standing in torrential rains and cheerfully wishing them a happy monday. They hate that.

Keanu Reeves by the way is a lot taller than I thought he would be. SCruffier too. Long hair and a long black beard. Not what Iw as expecting at all.

But during the few moments of reprieve I got I was able to think about a few things here and there. Thinking about the possibilities for the future in the home owners market, which I may have to look once again into the VA loan program. I served long enough they can give me a cheap loan damn it!

There are enough cheap and open places just in my own neighborhood that it shouldn’t be to much of a problem. The main problem I think will be the downpayment because the jackasses at the banks spent years giving loans out to people who they probably shouldnt have (at government insistance unfortunately) so the last time I was going to buy a place, they wanted a 10k down payment on a 30k place just because of all the other people who they gave money to that couldn’t pay.

Bleh

But on to a more interesting and fun topic..TOYS!

I was shopping around, window shopping really, at Extreme Restrains.  A rather neat little toyshop that while it looks a bit pricey, does look like it has some very high quality items to torment people with. One of the first things that I came across was the “Steel Impaler Tower”.  Now this really looks like a neat little torture device that I could so see putting a few girls into and keeping them in it for a while.

  Per the description: “Imagine having your partner locked inside this impaler tower. As you circle them, you admirably gaze at their locked in body. Their arms are bound behind them and their legs are locked into a folded position. You gently lean down and make sure that the steel dildo rod is firmly placed inside of them. Now when they move the dildo rod will move with them. Depending upon their angle and the height you place the dildo rod you can have it inside of a wet, hot pussy or an awaiting anus. The choice is yours. This is a high quality steel bondage device designed to offer a pleasurable experience for both partners”

Fun fun fun. Even if it is $375.00 it doesn’t look to bad. And actually looking at how its put together, as well as a few other items in their dungeon furniture line, Some of this could be very easy to replicate and probably a lot cheaper too. It would not be the first time that I have built a nasty little torture device to use on unsuspecting little subs and slaves.

The Back Stockade actually looks even easier to replicate should I have the desire too.  That would actually be a hell of a lot easier to build than most types of dungeon devices. Cheaper too if I were to use jsut a sturdy solid wood rather than metal too. But then agaoin I do like the look and feel of steel. It jsut seems more dungeony…is that a word…it is now.

And now for something completely different:

Now lets be honest here, this is fucking hot. A helpless girl strung up, stripped down and jsut waiting for her torment to begin. With the impliment to be used in that torment clenched so deliciously between her teeth. Now that is a nice image.

Muahaha

Discusion Groups and Forums

To be honest I’m really not sure why I bother with a great deal of the discussion groups and like minded forums that I have signed up for here and there. Either I quickly grow tired of the drama and one ups-manship that seems to be prevalent in BDSM themed boards and groups or the elitism of it all quickly wears on me and I find myself banging my head on the desk or rolling my eyes.

Can’t for the life of me figure out why near every single one of them claims to be welcoming and open-minded yet is so far from being either its near pathetic. Sad really how every single group I have seen or dipped my toes into has turned into a mirror of high school cliques and other things of that nature. But I suppose that is part of human nature and I don’t know why I keep expecting the BDSM crowd to be any different or above that sort of thing. After all these are the same people who hold up Laura Antinou as this icon despite the fact that she has said several times that she wrote the books she did to make fun of the BDSM crowd (and the politics involved in such that she engaged in and was apparently woefully inadequate as she got kicked out of a few groups because of).

Hell on Fetlife the main discussions in the groups I’m in seem to be either how LDR or this other type of relationship don’t work and you’re so doing it wrong, or how for example a couple looking for a third-party is sooo not poly and has no idea what they’re doing and are just ruining it for the rest of us ‘real’ people.

*sigh*

I actually try to get involved from time to time, share some of my experiences and what I’ve been through in some hope that someone, anyone might get even a small kernel of aid in whatever it is they are going through because of it. But for fucks sake the vast majority of people involved in any of them seem to be of the type that constantly denigrate anyone and everyone else because they alone know the key to how it all works.  Where does that come from.  When did posting a bunch of crap over a period of time give anybody that sort of right to tell people who kinda thing.

Now, to be honest, while there is no one true correct all-encompassing way to engage in a BDSM relationship. That being said, there are definitely quite a few ways not to do them and just as many people who should be chased away from the rest of us semi normal people because of the crap they try to pull. Just look at 99 percent of the profiles on Collarme or even Fetlife for that matter to see things that will make a person face-palm so much they’ll tattoo a hand print on their foreheads because of it.

Not quite what I’m talking about though. More about the people who actually do have a small measure of a clue but who seem to take that little shred and run off a cliff with it. I think it may just be an online thing.
I can recall being on the Internal Enslavement forums for a while, with a girl whom I’d know for quite a few years but was just starting to get into the first steps of an actual relationship. I was in New York she was in Virginia and the plan was for arrangements after she had finished her schooling with quite a few trips back and forth in between.  What started outa s a good set of forums on not only the concepts of internal enslavement and its philosophy, but actual experiences with its implementation, denigrated into the usual elitism where making fun of an insulting people because in their minds they weren’t ‘true’ was common place. Especially anything having any sort of facet of a LDR. Hell, I was flat-out told that despite the fact of coming off a ten-year live in relationship that I had nothing to say and that none of my opinions, thoughts or experiences had any merit because my girl at the time happened to temporarily live in a different state from me.

Hell, the Collarme forums are some of the worst for that, and that’s all backed up by a small group who band together to attack anyone who disagrees with them. Ok with a small social group like munches and things of that nature (another thing I won’t touch) having a general commonality of beliefs is to be expected.  But in a discussion group and a forum, to have a small number of people dictate what is politically correct and what is not for a mass of thousands and then enforce that with coordinated shutdowns is kinda mind-boggling that people who profess open-mindedness and even say there is no right way, act in just the exact opposite.

Now admittedly, I’m far from perfect, and a lot of my views (which I’ve gained from a lifetime of experience with this and that) are not going to be very popular with the teddy bear IRAB group. Hell I roll my eyes and groan inwardly (and outwardly) at the whole submission is a gift thing, let alone how I see the vast majority of prodommes.  This aint really give and take for me, and I don’t enjoy limitations et upon me and what I can and cannot do and with who. But then again I’m always open and upfront with that so anyone trying to get into something in the hopes of changing me or changing my mind is gonna be in for a disappointment.

I’ve made to many compromises in my life for the sake of other people and their desires and mental problems to be very agreeable to that sort of situation in my curmudgeonly old age..ok not that old.
But this is why I tend to go it alone and to hell with groups and group activities. They just always seem to have an agenda to them and I aint all up for that.  If people don’t like it, they aint gotta get involved with me. Simple as that. I’m happy, they’re happy, all good.

But oddly enough, I have found that a large number of blogs I’ve come across recently are much more of what I am looking for. Real people with real experiences sharing in ways that are important to them. It’s always interesting to see and read about their perceptions of things they are going through and how they handle them.  On both sides of the fence.

On a brighter note,

Did get to talk to someone very dear to me on the phone today. Something I havent done in a long time for various reasons here and there and I had almost forgotten how much I enjoyed talking to her and how much I truly did miss her.Spent a good forty-five minutes on the phone just talking about random stuff, nothing much, but that wasn’t the point.

To get to talk to someone who has always and will always have a place in my heart no matter what occurs, that’s always a good thing. And despite situations in the past that have conspired to get in the way, who knows what the future may hold. Though I have learned long ago not to think too much on stuff like that and live in the moment so to speak.

Relationships and Opinions

As hard as it may be to believe, or admit for that matter come to think about it, my thoughts and perceptions on things is not the end all be all about a great many things. I freely admit that I do not know everything and I’m not always 100% correct all the time. Just most of the time.

I have my own perception of things and how certain things should be, should be conducted and done and things of that nature, that are based on my own personal experiences and I freely admit on my own personal biases. It’s one of the reasons I very rarely engage myself in any sort of forum or discussion group dialog. I may read from it, but I for the most part will not give my own thoughts and opinions. Mainly for the fact that for the most part what I feel and think runs counter to alot of what is the accepted politically correct way of doing things. That and I can’t help but think a lot of people who post things to a great number of the BDSM and kink oriented types of forums are naive weekend warrior type idiots.

Am sorry, but  I am far from the fluffy huggable bunny type. Just not in my nature. I have strong opinions and ideals that guide my actions , morals and ethics, and just becasue certain elements want people in the mainstream to be accepting of what it is that they do in this regard, doesn’t mean I have to play along and water down everything I do to make it presentable. I don’t work that way.

However, knowing this is how I am, and how uinlikely it is for me to change my thoughts and opinions without a great deal of rational and god forbid logical thought provoking discourse, I recognize the need for others to braoden their horizons so to speak. In fact, anyone that I have every been with in this type of relationship, I have encouraged (and at times commanded) them to seek out other peoples views (even and especially those with views counter to my own) to listen to them, take in all the assorted informationa nd random mutterings going on all around, and then form their own opinions and ideas based on that and their own perceptions.

I for one think this is important. In exposing them, willingly or not, to other viewpoints, it allows the submissive/slave/whathaveyou to the myriad of possibilities and realities all around.And besides, just because I personally believe that SSC is a bunch of fluffy PC marketting crap, doesn’t mean that those who adhere to and believe in it don’t have a viable and valuable point.  It’ just that I h appen to whole heartedly disagree with anything that attempts to force acceptance through buzzwords and other ways of saying “we’re normal honest” types of things.

And part of this, I’ve always thought taht it was important for s-types to develop relationships with others who can understand what they are dealing with and going through due to similar perspectives. Yes, intellectually dominant types do understand certain things, but almost singularly on an intellectual level. It’s one of those things taht unless you have personaly experiecned something, while you may know on some level what it is about, you will not really understand to the level that they do. It’s as simple as that.

So it is always good for submissives and slave types to have a support network of like minded people who do understand and can give their own insights based on their own thoughts, feelings and experiences. I have always encouraged those sorts of friendships and for the most part I always will. Granted, this depends on the individual as well. Would be hard pressed to find it worth the time to let someone get involved with another person who believes the old trope that the “submissive really has all the power’. Damn you CSI for propogating that even more.

If there is a value, even if its just along the lines of a cautionary tale, it is helpful.

Titles

Somewhat of an interesting discussion on the Fetlife Masters/slaves group that I’ve been reading up a lot lately. The subject was basically on honorifics and titles such as Master, Mistress, Sir, Ma’am and things of that nature and how they are used and applied as well as what they mean to each person. Not to mention why they use them.

For me it is somewhat of a complicated issue. I generally dislike the thought of generic titles like sir that are given out. Not in general, as I use the title sir all the time when I do not know the persons name or if they are older than me etc etc. That and in normal context its just polite. But in the context of BDSM in general, to me the usuage of sir or ma’am has devolved from something that in and of itself should imply a respect for position or things of that nature, into an common and automatic term used for everyone who identifies with a dominant mindset.

Now I have been told, many times in fact, that it is still about respect for that person and who and more importantly what they are. My thoughts on this are simple because I dislike being addressed that way by submissive types who don’t even know me. If it is a sign of respect for who and what I am, without knowing me how do you know that said respect is deserved. Simply put, you don’t.

Now I do have a small few that address me as sir, but this was after telling them it was neither required or nescessary for me, and after explaining my position on it. Those that do address me as sir now, do so on their own becasue to them I have earned that respect in their eyes. It has an actual meaning behind it unlike just running into someone who claims to be dominant and giving them that honorific form of address.
I see anything else as artificially enforced. Which by the general BDSM type of community, which is a silly phrase in and of itself because there is no real community, is both common place and expected. WEll, am sorry but anyone who expects and demands to have a title conferred on them by everyone, let alone those that they do not know and do not know them, well they’re an idiot.

I personally prefer things that I have earned and deserve on my own merits rather than a meaningless title that is confered because the overerall culture seems to think being a dominant , or claiming to be dominant, is all it takes to earn that sort of respectful honor from submissive types. If someone believes that in their eyes I deserve the title or the inherant respect that goes with it, then fine by me. Otherwise I’m not Master Shadow (email address aside) or Sir Shadow, I’m just Shadow and that is what works for me.

I just do not really like the unearned connotations the whole thing brings up at times.

Ponderings

I’ve started realizing something.  Although maybe this is just me and my own depraved and perverted world, but I’m starting to realize something about myself, or rather who I associate myself with.
More to the point, I really don’t think I have a single normal friend or aquaintance outside or work..which really doesn’t count due to it being Hollywood and no one is really normal out here. But that’s really not what I meant. Outside of work I don’t associate with anyone who isn’t in possession of a Kink sort of persuasion, whether it be dominant or submissive. And come to think of it, I reallyhavent since I was around twenty or so.

Not so surprising after all all things considering, it is how I live and what I relate to in the big wild world around me. I guess it’s only natural that I choose to surround myself with those few that only understand who and what I am, odd as I may be. I can relate to people hwo have the same general mindet and pleasures that I like. Well that and who an not like having pretty slave girls around to talk to.
Well and do other things to as well, but that is sooo a different subject.