It occurs to me that oft times I have a little to much mental wandering time. And I mean that my mind often wanders from one subject to the next and back again whilst I'm working for example. Most of the people I work with would most likely be horrified by the thoughts that swirl around in my head, but truthfully I would think they'd know me well enouh by now to expect that sort of thing. I'm not exactly secretive about my depravity, just the overall level of it.
In any case, after a conversation I had yesterday, it got me thinking today about certain things. There is an aweful lot of stereotyping that goes on. Granted this is in general, can't often get away from it in fact, but I mean more of a specific instance. And along with this goes a lot of expectations I think too.
What I mean is this, and it is something I have often wondered about. What image do you conjure up when you think of the terms ( as far as BDSM goes) dominant and submissive. Generally you'll more likely get two sets of images for both going roughly along gender lines. And it is those images that I've always wondered about.
Mostly because, well look at it this way, you get a brand new submissive girl, just starting out and learning. Are her responses and excitement to activities such as spanking, items such as whips and chains, are they genuine attractions, or are they more along the lines of "this is what submissive women enjoy so therefore I enjoy them". The same can be said for the whole "I identify as dominant so therefore I must enjoy tying people up and whipping them into jello"
Part of this is becuase the logical portion of my mind can't quite wrap around the fact that it is a near impossibility that every single person who is into BDSM in any of its varying aspects automatically is just enthralled and craving that sort of thing.
I'd personally expect a bit of wide eyed curiosity about things like beign dragged over a dominants lap for a spanking when first doing some self exploration, but a general overall enjoyment from the get go just does not seem right to me.
Granted there is a lot to be said from exploration and experience, but there is also I think the factor of a learned or conditioned response. I've found that there is very little activity wise that cannot be at least in some way eroticised. I can recall in fact experiencing the fact first hand that new submissive types in new relationships with a dominant will tend to eroticise just about everything. Even the most mundane tasks.
But the whole pain thing is subjective. I've known just as many self proclaimed painsluts as I ahve those who jsut enjoy light sensation play. So while it does cover a wide range along the spectrum, it is still there.
Now on a different aspect of the same topic, is bondage. Now I like to think of bondage in general as far as it relates to this subject as being freedom in chains. Which is a good enough term I think.
As it was described to me, being in chains means that you cannot resist or escape the fact that these are the things that you enjoy. It allows a certain freedom to literally be yourself, ignoring all the societal and cultural pressures that can arise from enjoying things that society as a whole generally considers taboo or even wrong. After all, women (or men for that matter) are not supposed to enjoy that sort of thing.
But like it was told to me, all chained up you really can't run away and hide from the fact that you do enjoy it. You have to almost literally face and accept it. Which once done, gives a tremendous amount of freedom. Which is understandable.
Embrace and accept who you are freely and without worry. Even if its only for a little while.
No comments:
Post a Comment